


From Nowhere

by Jerge



Category: Dorohedoro
Genre: Angst, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Oral Fixation, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sexual Fantasy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:01:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22744423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jerge/pseuds/Jerge
Summary: Dokuga is consumed with loneliness and indulges in a fantasy.
Relationships: Dokuga/Kai (Dorohedoro)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 88





	From Nowhere

_"I put your lunch and necessary things in here…"_

He's laying in the bathtub, just as he does every night he's home. It's dark except for the single light above him, there's small bugs fluttering around it, and he knows in about thirty minutes the remaining officers will retire to their respective beds and the light will be snuffed. He'd usually preoccupy this time before bed with reading or working through a plan to keep their water running, but instead tonight he sulks. He can't bring himself to do much of anything anymore, the knowledge finally feeling too heavy to bear.

A lot of things have been complicated… complicated for quite a while. But as he sits in the porcelain bowl of the tub, his pillow propping him upright, his thoughts are consumed. He thinks about the broad back he had watched leave. Dark eyes looked at him with something behind them he still can't figure out. He wants to know what it was.

_"Take this, it should come in handy… Now hurry!"_

He thinks of the way the door appears-- terrifying, surreal-- and the way that the man hurried through. Dokuga thinks about how he's gone now, in Hole without him. He thinks about how he has to keep the Cross Eyes going, even as their boss absconded to escape his own death.

Surely Risu's curse couldn't follow him to Hole.

Dokuga will learn many things in the years to come; about the Cross Eyes, about the world of humans and sorcerers alike, and about Kai. But for now he knows very little and wonders so much more.

He lays in that bathtub and Tetsujo peeks in, turning the lights off without a word. They have no need to tell each other when curfew is in effect, it's been built into their lives for months now. With the boss gone, it's been harder to find means to make money. The production of black powder has stopped entirely. The bills are piling already. Morale with him missing has dropped.

A lot of their members are drifting away.

Dokuga pushes the thoughts out of his head, trying to beckon in an emptiness to occupy the space instead. There's no need for these worries, not now. He needs strength instead. 

It's entirely mindless, a simple touch of comfort at first. He isn't capable of being around people like others are and it's affected him poorly his entire life. Dokuga mindlessly rubs his stomach, staring at the moonlight that pushes through the pane of glass above his head.

He thinks of the way Kai had rarely spoken to any of the other officers and the sort of feeling that comes with knowing that Dokuga is the only one who knows about Risu. He thinks he should feel special to know about the boss' plans, his ambitions, his actions, his nature.

It makes him sick inside instead.

He's special but in a way he never wanted. But he knows that the instant Kai shows back up that he will fall back in line, marching in step behind him, vigilant and eager to please. He's a bit sick himself, he realizes, sliding his hand down the bone of his pelvis.

Dokuga is no better than Kai is how he sees it. How can he judge him for killing when Dokuga has followed him every step of the way? He doesn't relish it like the boss does, the logical mind supplements. But he knows he won't stop despite the doubt and the pain it delivers him. He knows this through the guilt of seeing Risu's face as the boss decapitated him... and the pain that digs through Dokuga's muscles like diving needles.

He knows Kai is their best hope for salvation in the face of the systems within the world. Their world. He's no better than a human in the eyes of the society they tread and unless their boss continues his work, they will continue to be nothing. 

Trash.

Hand trailing further, he tries to push the thoughts away. He's lonely, he admits, and his muscles crave something he will never allow himself to indulge. The closest he's been to anyone since his time under the magic user that enslaved him was with Kai, who seemed rather laissez faire in terms of danger. 

A touch on the nape of his neck as he is pushed away from a dangerous attack (entirely without compassion, he thinks but then doubts.) The warmth of Kai's breath on his ear as he told him their next move before pulling away, storming across the house without a care if Dokuga followed. The way that Kai stared at him the time he stepped in on him post-shower, simply attempting to grab is things before realizing that their guest was still inside.

Dokuga is warm and his insides are tight. He thinks about how the boss dropped the towel and approached, dwarfing him, casting him under shadow. 

His throat is tight and before he knows it, the warmth in his face moves to his heart, rapid beats casting it into his veins and into his entire body.

He touches himself and it's mechanical and meaningless at first. An act of mindless comfort, unappealing and impersonal. But he switches the script and stumbles head first into a fantasy, feeling a hot iron of pleasure steam through him.

Instead of pushing past him without a word, bare feet padding across the wooden floors and away, Kai instead grips his chin and tilts his head up and to the side. He watches him and Dokuga shivers at the idea of being seen.

He's hard now but he doesn't even really notice, instead indulging in the alternate reality that he's conjured. He strokes himself, again, mindless, impersonal, but the pleasure he gets translates and he finds himself pulled closer to Kai.

The man's dark eyes pull him in and he doesn't allow himself to react, even if his body screams to. He knows he can see the red in his face as well, feel the weakness in his posture as his hands plant onto his chest for stability.

Kai feels impossibly large compared to him and a part of him knows it's because he hasn't even attempted to touch another human being in years, let alone so close, so intimately. But also he _is_ so much larger than him, standing a full foot above Dokuga while also being impossibly hard to ignore. It was in his very nature to stand out.

Dokuga never stood a chance.

Kai's chest is hard under his hands, a wall of toned muscle that shows the years of work and pain he's been through. He's damp from the shower still. 

His other hand trails up Dokuga's bare arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake, before tucking neatly against the side of his head. His forefinger cradles the back of his ear as his thumb strokes the soft skin of the lobe.

Dokuga squeezes his eyes shut and pulls one of his hands and clamps it tightly against his mouth, exhaling sharply into his palm. He can't use this hand now, he reminds himself. Keep it to himself.

Kai watches him like a true scientist, focused entirely, ready to record his findings. He rubs again, the sensitive skin behind Dokuga's ear tingling. 

He steels himself, gulping hard before steadying his footing. His dick aches and his heart is racing, but he forms a thought in his head that makes him wonder if it's worth an attempt or not. Before he can act however, Kai slides his hand from the spot on his ear and pushes the hair out of his face. His head is pulled back by his bangs and Dokuga clamps his hand harder over his mouth, gasping. He flinches briefly before refocusing his gaze up at his boss, searching his dark gaze for what he was trying to do. 

Intentions are always hard to read on Kai, he's known this since the day they met, but Dokuga finds himself hoping that he's initiating something.

Something he absolutely cannot indulge in.

But this is a fantasy and Kai moves the hand that's still clamped on his chin and uses it to wrench his hand off of his mouth. Dokuga doesn't even react, staring at him with tight eyes and an even tighter shut mouth.

"Open," Kai tells him and it's the first thing he's said since this whole fiasco has started. Dokuga doesn't react at first but the tightness of his fist in his hair and his hand against his own makes him relent, softly parting his lips and reservedly opening his mouth for the man. 

His boss pushes his fingers inside and fights against Dokuga's initial instinct to pull away.

"Don't--" he tries but Kai pushes his tongue down with his first two fingers. Dokuga doesn't breath for a long moment but when he doesn't taste blood or see his boss react negatively, he slowly feels his muscles untighten, drawing relaxed.

He prods his tongue softly, almost like he's testing something. When he's satisfied, it doesn't take long for Kai to ramp things up, pushing his fingers deeper inside, seeing how far Dokuga can swallow him before his gag kicks in.

Dokuga can't even bring himself to stop him, only drawing his eyes away in nervousness and maybe a little shame as he gags on his fingers. He doesn't relish in the pleasure he's feeling, or his own erection that presses hard into his trembling hand. He palms himself and lets Kai take him where he may.

He pulls his fingers out and smears his saliva across Dokuga's lips, smiling for the first time at the way Dokuga opens his eyes and watches back.

He pushes his knee between Dokuga's legs and pulls him hard up and into him. Their lips press together unceremoniously, barely hitting their mark, but Kai is quick to invade and pushes his tongue inside.

Dokuga gasps and pants, too many sensations too fast, but the solidity of his boss' tongue in his mouth and the way it explores and laps draws him to focus. He doesn't react at first, barely registering as Kai shifts them around. His boss leans against the wall, Dokuga straddled across his thick thigh, his hands gripped tight against his ass. Once they're in place, however, Dokuga feels the restraints loosen. 

He sucks Kai's tongue, tentative at first. When he rumbles in him, a positive reaction, Dokuga feels the restraints built within him open and fall. He grips his shoulders and presses their mouths together so hard he feels like maybe they'll crush each other. He slides his tongue inside his boss' mouth, snaking it under the other's, and they go at it for a while, taking turns almost viciously probing and tasting at each other.

He glides them across Kai's teeth and hisses as the man bites at it, at him. His lip splits open and he sucks at the blood that gushes from Dokuga, hungry.

Dokuga's head feels light and heavy all at the same time. His dick is so hot and hard against the tight muscle of Kai's thigh, too real, too close, he knows he's far too close to coming. He tries as hard as his will can muster to calm down, to slow down, but the feeling of Kai's erection pressing back onto him is too much.

He pulls off his mouth and forces himself off Kai, dropping harshly onto his hands and knees. Before Kai can do anything to react-- no shock, no retaliation, no punishment-- Dokuga presses his mouth up against his exposed cock and starts to suck.

He pulls back and looks up briefly, cock aching at the approving eyes cast down on him, and he presses his lips to the hot girth of his dick and applies a thick layer of spit across the length. This can't be real, he thinks. But he can barely focus as his hand wraps around the shaft while his mouth clumsily sucks at the tip. He smooths his hand down, dipping deep enough to rub against Kai's balls, before he slides it back up again.

Kai trails his hand across Dokuga's face and pushes his hair out of his eyes, almost tenderly. 

Dokuga doesn't want to linger on that feeling...

Instead he sucks, enjoying the feel of something in his mouth. The feeling of something filling him, something so delicate in such a dangerous part of him. He can even taste cum, Kai's precum, and his head spins. He'll never experience anything like this with anyone else.

Kai holds Dokuga's head and moves his face closer, drawing his dick deeper inside. He tests how deep Dokuga can swallow him but never pushes too hard, pulling back at the sign of struggle. 

Dokuga takes him deep inside a few more times before he pulls off with a pop, licking his lips. He sucks along the hard vein that throbs on the underside of his dick and rolls his hand across the soaked tip. He slides his tongue down, following the curve, before he presses his face into Kai's balls and sucks on one.

Panting, he feels himself drawing so close to orgasm that his vision dots with static and he hopes that Kai is close too.

Drawn by his need to come, Kai grunts, rutting up against Dokuga's face. "Open your mouth," he orders and Dokuga complies in a swift eagerness that leaves the bottom of his stomach aching.

He opens, wide and ready, and Kai moans, jerking himself off. He aims at Dokuga's face and presses the tip against the flat of his tongue.

Kai is making noises he's never heard before and suddenly he ejaculates, filling Dokuga's mouth. He wraps his lips shut around him and sucks, desperate to take in every last drop. And Kai fills his mouth with his come, excessive in that as he is with everything else.

Dokuga swallows him down, wincing at the texture and taste, but so eager to please. Instantly he finds himself following suit. His whole body tightens and he comes, desperate jerking himself off, crying out into Kai's cock.

His faceted eyes snap open and the only thing he finds himself a mouthful of is his poisonous saliva. He swallows it down and looks at his come-sticky hand and the dark bathroom he's been in this whole time, alone.

He's panting so hard it takes a moment to settle down, his hands trembling for a while afterwards. Dokuga leans back, staring hard at the ceiling.

He had never truly indulged in those thoughts before and a part of him feels satisfied and lonely, while the other feels terrified and dirty. He knows Kai too well to be doing this. He knows Kai so well, in fact, that he knows how disgusting the man would find him for wanting that at all.

And he knows himself well enough, too, that he can't allow himself to indulge in fantasies like that. He shouldn't give his heart hopes like that. He can't afford to be around people and also be of that nature. He can't compromise their safety for his pleasure.

Dokuga pulls himself up and strips, folding his things up and putting them in the rucksack he keeps in his pile of things. A hot spiral of shame fills him with the knowledge that he'll have to wash them. Remove all evidence of his transgressions. He sighs, turning back to his "bed."

He'll have to deep clean the tub before letting anyone use it...


End file.
